Ascend Corp Standard Operating Procedure
The
Corporate
Ladder
A party game of greed, sabotage, and memo-ries.
The CEO writes a memo. It passes down the chain of command, and every single person gets to change two things on the way. The lowest-ranking employee reads the final version out loud. Then everyone spends five minutes lying about it.
Interoffice Memorandum
- To
- All Staff
- From
- Office of the CEO
- Re
- Q3 Alignment
- CEOTonza Gold
- VPIvana Stocks
- DirLeBron Gaines
- MgrLucky Logan
- AssocHelpa Mepleasa
Board-approved word
This is the entire game.
I. Onboarding
You have been hired.
Congratulations are not in order.
Everyone at the table draws a rank — CEO down to Associate — and a Secret Identity nobody else can see. Your rank decides what you earn. Your Secret Identity decides what you actually want. Those two things are almost never the same, which is the point.
You play four quarters. Each one is a memo, an argument, and a payout. At the end of the fiscal year the richest person at the table is named Chairman of the Board. Everyone else is .
- Meeting requirements
- 4–8 employees
- Fiscal year
- About 60 minutes
- Minimum age
- 14+
- Success
- Mandatory
II. The quarterly cycle
Four phases. Repeat until the fiscal year kills you.
-
Phase 1
The Executive Memo
The CEO writes a memo using four words handed down by the Board, then passes it to the VP. It travels down the ranks. Everyone may change up to two things.
-
Phase 2
The Meeting
The lowest-ranking employee reads the final memo aloud. Five minutes on the clock to negotiate, bribe, frame a colleague, and play your Perk cards.
-
Phase 3
The Verdict
The memo passes or fails. If it fails, the CEO is fined and demoted to Associate, and everybody below them moves up a rung.
-
Phase 4
Breaking News
Something happens to the company. It may be good. It may be expensive. It may be nothing at all. Then you get back to work.
Try it
You are the Manager. Change two things.
The memo has already come down from the CEO, the VP and the Director. You get it next. Click any word to cut it, or use the buttons to swap or add. Two changes, maximum — same as the real game.
Click a word in the memo to cut it.
III. Employee directory
Twenty colleagues.
None of them are on your side.
Every game deals out real Employee IDs with real salaries. Whoever draws the CEO badge starts at the top — and has the furthest to fall. Select a badge to see the reverse.
IV. Secret identities
Everyone is playing a different game.
One dealt face down to each player at the start of the year. It is the only thing at the table nobody can see. If a colleague correctly names yours at the final audit, you are fined $500 — so behave normally, whatever that means for you.
-
The Saboteur
Ensure the Board vote fails.
-
The Narcissist
Your name or rank must appear in a final memo.
-
The Martyr
Get fired by the CEO.
-
+ 5 more
Disclosed upon hire.
V. Exit interviews
What departing staff told HR.
VI. Apply
We are not hiring yet.
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