Ascend Corp Standard Operating Procedure
The
Corporate
Ladder
A party game of greed, sabotage, and memo-ries.
The CEO writes a memo. It passes down the chain of command, and every single person gets to change two things on the way. The lowest-ranking employee reads the final version out loud. Then everyone spends five minutes lying about it.
Interoffice Memorandum
- To
- All Staff
- From
- Office of the CEO
- Re
- Q3 Alignment
- CEOTonza Gold
- VPIvana Stocks
- DirLeBron Gaines
- MgrLucky Logan
- AssocHelpa Mepleasa
Board-approved word
This is the entire game.
I. Onboarding
You have been hired.
Congratulations are not in order.
Everyone at the table draws a rank — CEO down to Associate — and a Secret Identity nobody else can see. Your rank decides what you earn. Your Secret Identity decides what you actually want. Those two things are almost never the same, which is the point.
You play four quarters. Each one is a memo, an argument, and a payout. At the end of the fiscal year the richest person at the table is named Chairman of the Board. Everyone else is .
Headcount determines which fiscal year you are issued. The Standard Year (4–8) plays for money. The Small Merger (6–8) seats two employees who do not work here. The Merger (9–20) runs two rooms, two devices and a clock. Orientation is mandatory; the reels take about five minutes each.
- Meeting requirements
- 4–20 employees
- Fiscal year
- 45–60 minutes
- Minimum age
- 12 and up
- Success
- Mandatory
II. The quarterly cycle
Four phases. Repeat until the fiscal year kills you.
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Phase 1
The Executive Memo
The CEO drafts a memo using four Board words, in 15 words or fewer, and passes it to the VP. It travels down the ranks, each rank shown fewer of the four, and everyone may change up to two things. The lowest rank reads it aloud, and it is stamped on the spot: three Board words survive and it passes.
-
Phase 2
The Meeting
Five minutes on the clock, with the result already on the screen. So this is not a discussion about what the memo should say. It is an argument about who did this. Negotiate, bribe, frame a colleague, and play your Perk cards.
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Phase 3
The Payout
Passed: everyone is paid, and the CEO promotes or demotes one employee, subject to the Board. Failed: the CEO pays a $1,500 mismanagement fine and drops to Associate, and everybody below moves up a rung with a bonus for the trouble.
-
Phase 4
Breaking News
Something happens to the company. It may be good. It may be expensive. It may be nothing at all. Then you get back to work.
Try it
You are the Manager. Change two things.
The memo has already come down from the CEO, the VP and the Director. You get it next. Click any word to cut it, or use the buttons to swap or add. Two changes, maximum — same as the real game.
Click a word in the memo to cut it.
III. Employee directory
Twenty colleagues.
None of them are on your side.
Every game deals out real Employee IDs with real salaries. Whoever draws the CEO badge starts at the top — and has the furthest to fall. Select a badge to see the reverse.
IV. Secret identities
Everyone is playing a different game.
One dealt face down to each player at the start of the year. It is the only thing at the table nobody can see. If a colleague correctly names yours at the final audit, you are fined $500 — so behave normally, whatever that means for you.
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The Saboteur
The Board vote fails.
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The Thought Leader
The final memo contains a word of ten or more letters.
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The Editor
The final memo contains two misspelled words.
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+ 5 more
Disclosed upon hire.
V. Exit interviews
What departing staff told HR.
VI. Apply
We are not hiring yet.
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